Doggy Trash

While walking home from school one day, I spotted a box of toys at the trash bin area of our apartment compound. Very quickly, I dashed over and squatted down to have a closer look...

Fascinated by other people's rubbish!! My silly antics made mummy burst into laughter :D

Upon visual inspection (didn't touch it of course), I concluded that the broken toys belonged to a dog. I mean, just look at the level of damage...

And they looked very dirty too...

Me: Yes, I'm very sure these toys belonged to a dog.

Mummy: The dogs here have very good life, hor?

Me: Ya, got nice toys to play with.... just play only, no need to do (school) homework. Better life than me...

Mummy: LOLOLOL!!

You Don't Need a Reason to Laugh

Daddy and mummy were laughing over something funny (that was beyond my comprehension). Their laughter was kinda contagious because I also started laughing along too...

Me: Hahahahaha!

Mummy: What are you laughing about? 

Me: When I hear people laugh, I also want to laugh. People laugh for a reason, I just laugh for no reason! *grins*

LOL!!! Like that also can @-@

They say that laughter is the best medicine so... just laugh lah! :D

Animals are Cleverer than Me!

One of my recent after-school chats with mummy...

Me: Mummy, do you know that animals are cleverer than me?

Mummy: Really?

Me: Yes... a baby elephant can stand up and walk as soon as it is born!

Mummy: Oh, cleverer in that sense. Yes.

Me: And a penguin can go out and catch fish on its own when it is only 2 years old!

Mummy: At 2 years old, a penguin is considered old already... but nevermind. So what could you do when you were 2 years old?

Me: Me? (without even pausing to think) Break things lor!

Mummy: LOL!!!!!!

That's very true indeed! I was quite a destructive little menace back then and here are some of the things that "died" in my hands...

My favourite target was spectacles. The specs that belonged to daddy, mummy, Ah Ma and Yeh Yeh all ended up with the same fate... the frames were either bent or broken beyond repair *mummy shakes head*

Broken

Disfigured

Torn

Heh heh heh... digging daddy's wallet was just one of the many naughty things that I enjoyed doing! 

My Precious Pet Worms

Recently, I brought home a cup of earthworms from school. It was part of my Science project where I learned about earthworms and their habitat. As soon as I reached home, I laid out the rules for mummy to follow.

1. They need to stay in a dark place. Do not open the black paper (cover) ok!

2. They can only eat wastes and wet leaves.

3. They cannot eat chilli or anything spicy. They also cannot eat garlic, onion, sour things and dairy products (teacher said). 

4. They dislike vibration and rough movements. I guess they must have hated the bus ride home just now hehe...

It didnt occur to mummy how much I loved and adored these squirmy little creatures until this conversation took place the following morning before I left for school...

Me: Mummy, later remember to feed them lunch, ok?

Mummy: *teasingly* OK, I'll pour some milk in later.

Me: No! Milk is a dairy product and they can't take it.

Mummy: Then I'll chop some garlic for them...

Me: NO! Cannot! 

Mummy: *still wanted to irritate me further as usual* Oh, they like sour things, right? Maybe some lemon juice will do. 

Me: Noooooooo!!! I have a hidden camera in the house and I can see you. I also have a hidden hammer that will come out and bang your head if you give any of these! 

Mummy: @-@

A play dough worm that I made before bringing back the real ones. Notice my wrong spelling for "anus" and "segmented" hehe...

Me and my precious wormies...

The habitat that I made on my own by filling a plastic cup with alternate layers of sand and soil. Teacher gave me 4 worms to put inside.

Can you spot Worm 1? ;)

Puke Princess and Her Justification

In our recent flight back from Hong Kong to Shanghai (we flew Cathay Pacific and had to transit in HKG from KUL), I played "Puke Princess" again after having this meal on board...

I enjoyed the meal very much (especially the dim sum from mummy's tray)...

However, I started feeling queasy towards the end of the flight and as the plane was "circling in the air" preparing to land, I did it again. This time around, the air sickness pouch was already on standby so it was a mess-free affair :) As mummy was putting away the partially-filled puke pouch, she teased me...

Mummy: See, you wasted the Haagen Dazs ice cream and all the nice food. They are all inside here now *pointed to the puke pouch*

Me: No! I've already tasted and enjoyed it so it is NOT wasted. Even if I didn't vomit this out, later when I poo-poo, it will also come out of my body wat...

Mummy: ..........

He Ain't Old, He's My Father

Backdated post

Me: Mummy, can I donate some money... (filled in details)?

Mummy: You go and ask your old man.

Me: Who is my "old man"?

Mummy: You think and see...

Me: Err, is it Gung-Gung (grandpa)?

Mummy: LOL!

Me and my not-so-old (yet) "old man"

I received a cute toy tarsier after making a small cash donation to help the victims of the Phillippine's Typhoon Haiyan (through a charity drive in my school).

Ask God

I did a quiz on my own and happily announced to mummy...

Me: Mummy, I got all the answers correct and I didn't even look at the answers! (I always have to mention this and mummy thinks it is a giveaway that I lied)

Mummy: Bluff.

Me: Really!

Mummy: Bluff.

Me: Reeeaaaalllly. I'm not bluffing!

Mummy: Bluff.

Me: You ask God!

Mummy: ........

I really, really didn't bluff **flash the most unconvincing look**

This is All Your Fault!

Recently, mummy and I went shoe-shopping. I saw a pair that I really liked but unfortunately, it was not available in my size. The biggest size was still too small for me. Since I liked it very much and insisted on having it, I settled for another colour (but same design) of my choice.

However, still feeling rather dissatisfied that I could not have what I initially wanted, I came up with a silly accusation right after mummy has made the payment...

Me: Mummy, this is all your fault!

Mummy: Huh? What fault?

Me: Because of you, I can't wear that shoe.

Mummy: Eh, eh... why blame me pulak???

Me: Because you always give me so much rice to eat, make me grow so much until I always cannot fit into the shoes that I like...

Mummy: *speechless at first, then rolls eyes and laughs out loud* 

Shoe-shopping has never been easy or fun for me because I am a "Bigfoot". I have a pair of extremely fast-growing feet. Very soon, I can forget about shopping at the children's shoe section. As it is now, I am already wearing adult-sized socks.

My foot (on the right) in comparison with mummy's standard size 7 foot... and I am not even 7 years old yet! 

Too Much Colouring!!

Mummy suggested this doll jelly cake for my birthday next month and my first response was "Nooooo! It has too much colouring!" My health-freak-like comment really caught mummy by surprise haha!

Pic taken from jellycakehouse website

This attractive jelly cake may look impressive to many little girls out there (maybe including old ladies like mummy) but I shook my head in disapproval because I found it too colourful for consumption.  

I also had another good reason for rejecting this "cake". I told mummy "I already have a Barbie doll at home. Why do I need so many dolls for?" Yeah, true also. Besides, I hardly play with dolls!

In the end, I told her "Just go to Citta Mall and buy Wondermilk cupcakes for me".

Poison

Poison to me, is something that...

1. Tastes unpleasant
2. Looks unnatural
3. Contains artificial colouring
4. Is very mysterious and intriguing

1. Mummy cooked me a huge bowl of brown rice vermicelli soup with homemade fishballs and organic "nai pak", a type of dark green, leafy vegetable. I did not like this veggie but managed to eat most of it and left some behind...

Mummy I can't finish the veggie because I don't like it. It tastes like poison!

2. Recently, I received a Colgate dental-care pack which consists of a Spongebob toothbrush and toothpaste. All this while, I have been using toothpaste that is white in colour so when I saw the blue gel, I was quite shocked by the colour...

Eeeeeeee... why is this toothpaste blue? It looks like poison!

3. I begged for this Slinky dog candy dispenser when I saw it in Candylicious some time back. Mummy was reluctant to buy it for me but I was quick to add...

I promise I won't eat the sweets. It has poison, right?

4. I like to ask mummy all kinds of funny questions... Why do you always mop the floor? Why are you so afraid of dust? Do dust have poison? Why did you kill the cockroach? It it poisonous? Is a *name of an animal* poisonous? Is shampoo poisonous? What happens if we accidentally swallow it? Will we die? Etc.

I Love Them, I Love Them Not!

Because I Have You
On the way to school one day, while walking hand in hand with me (we walk to school every morning), mummy felt very happy, blessed and contented so she asked me...

Mummy: Are you a happy child?
Me: Yes!
Mummy: What makes you happy?
Me: When I am with you, I feel happy. I am happy because I have you and daddy :)
Mummy related this to daddy and both their hearts melted.

Sick, Sick lah
It was raining one morning so we did not walk to school. Mummy drove me there and wanted to drop me off at the covered lobby area so that neither of us would get wet. I did not want to get down on my own and insisted that she parked the car in the open carpark and use an umbrella to go down with me...

Mummy: What if I get wet in the rain and fall sick?
Me: Sick, sick lah... after that, you will get well wat!
Mummy: *rolls eyes* *heart shattered*

Daddy's Back-Stabber
Mummy the fussy clean-freak wipes my bicycle (esp the tyres) after each ride outside, before it is allowed to be pushed into the house. While she was wiping my bicycle one day...

Mummy: *in complain mode* You always make me spend so much time wiping your bicycle. See, I help you wipe until it's so sparkling clean! (expecting me to thank her)
Me: Ya la, not like daddy.... cincai wipe only! (daddy was not at home then)
Daddy: *shakes head* *heart shattered*

Good girl or bad girl?

I Love You One Million

I am very generous with my I Love Yous and will unabashedly declare it to my loved ones (usually family members).

A few months ago, I started adding numbers to express the degree of my love to whoever that special someone is. I started with 10... Mummy, I love you ten (as in a score of 10/10).

Then, it was increased to 100 and subsequently, 1000. Mummy, I love you one hundred thousand.

Recently, the numbers have skyrocketed to the -ions... million, billion, trillion etc. and even "all the numbers" (my own words for infinity).

From the simple I love you, I'm now fond of saying I love you one thousand, one million, billion, trillion and all the big numbers! I say it so often that sometimes the phrase loses its true meaning. This is evident in one of my recent conversations with mummy...

Me: Mummy...

Mummy: Hmmm?

Me: Mummy...

Mummy: Yes?

Me: Mummy....

Mummy: WHAT?

Me: I love you one million, trillion and all the big numbers *smile* Actually I want to tell you something else but I've forgotten what I want to say so I just say I love you first lah *grin*

It works well as a conversation "filler" too hehe!

A few weeks ago, daddy came across this comic strip "Pickles" (it's one of mummy's favourite comic strips) where Nelson the boy said something similar. What a coincidence! Or do many other kids say the same thing too?

Nelson is so like me... but I guess I'm much more "generous" than him hehe!

Things I Say

As If I know

The following Monday after visiting the Melaka Zoo, I returned home from school and proudly announced to mummy...

Me: Mummy, I told Aaron (my classmate and best friend) that I went to the zoo that day.

Mummy: Oh, did you tell him that it's the Melaka Zoo?

Me: No, I just said zoo only. I don't think he knows where Melaka is anyway... (as if I know haha!)

Terms of Endearment

Our bedtime chats often lead to amusing endings...

Mummy: Ok, no more talking. It's time to sleep now. Good night!

Me: Good night what?

Mummy: Good night, cutie pie!

Me: Good night, tomato pie!

Mummy: *smile* Good night, lil pumpkin!

Me: Good night, lil coconut!

Mummy: Coconut? *giggle* Good night, sweet darling!

Me: Good night, sweet potato!

Mummy: *roll on bed laughing* (It is so NOT flattering to be called a "sweet potato" a.k.a "fan shu" in Chinese haha!)

Heng Pie Na

One day, as I was drawing some cats...

Me: Mummy, do you know that the cat's nose is actually heng pie na?

Mummy: Huh? Heng pie na?

Me: You see... heng... pie... na! (referring to the strokes of the Chinese character "you" 又) It's like writing Chinese hehehe.

Mummy: Yes! You are absolutely correct. Clever la you!

Cats! Can you spot all the "heng pie na" in my drawing?

No Kissing!

While most people do not bother looking at public notices, I am always on the look out for one. I enjoy reading the list of prohibitions on notices such as this...

No swimming, no fishing, no pets allowed...... etc.

What's this, mummy? No kissing?

Me: Mummy, why no kissing ar?

Mummy: Err...

Me: Why? Why cannot kiss?

Mummy: The park is a public place. Men and women cannot kiss in public like that. It's not nice...

Me: Ooh, kiss already must get married is it?

Mummy: *chuckles*

Things I Say

Love? What Love?

I was sitting on mummy's lap and leaning on her when she started kissing, cuddling and squeezing me tightly...

Mummy: I love you sooooooooo much. So, so, so much! Can you feel my love?

Me: No, but I can feel your bones... and your skeleton!

Mummy: *Rolling on the floor laughing*

The Nursery Rhyme Critic

While reading (not singing) a popular rhyme one day...

Me: Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are... *paused for a moment and went into smart alec mode* It's a star lah. Why need to wonder? Why like that also don't know?

American Influence

I asked for a few sips of Revive isotonic drink in Pizza Hut recently...

Me: Mummy, my tongue feels prickly when I drink this.

Mummy: That's because the drink has gas in it.

Me: Gas? You mean it has petrol in it? *laughs*

Mummy: @_@

If It's Not Nice, It's Gotta Be Bad

While walking along some eateries in The Curve during the school holidays, a very friendly staff at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. greeted us Good Morning and gave me a balloon. Mummy paid no attention to the balloon at all until much later when I told her...

Me: Mummy, there's a bad word on my balloon.

Mummy: Bad word? What bad word?

Me: Neh, you see... *shoved the balloon to her*

I am not allowed to mention the S word because long, long ago, (when I was only 2 years 6 months) mummy told me that stupid is not a nice word to say. Therefore, I just I referred to it as the "bad word" haha.

The words on the balloon made mummy wonder... of all the quotes in the Forrest Gump movie, why did they choose to print this one on a balloon meant for kids? Probably they didn't expect the kids to read them! Do you read what's printed on your balloon?

I Will Pay It With My Angpau Money

It's that time of the year again... ang-pau money-counting after CNY. This year, I did not get a lot of ang-paus because we did not go visiting at all (besides going back to Mah-Mah and Ah Ma's house).

As usual, I would arrange my collection nicely on the floor and pose with it...

Not all are mine. Some are daddy and mummy's but all are given to me. Yes, they are still RECEIVING despite their ripe, old age and "unqualified status" :p

Here are some of the cuter or special ones that I received this year...

I also received two red packets from Hong Kong. One was from Uncle Foo (mummy's cousin) who works in Ocean Park and the other one was from Uncle Freeman (daddy's cousin) from Macau. Thank you, uncles!

As with every year, mummy would ask me the same question...

Mummy: What would you like to buy with all this money?

Me: Hmmmmm... *thought hard and then whispered into into mummy's ear*: Can I buy toys?

Hooray! The "bread, banana and onion days" are finally over! I finally know how to ask for "normal" things now :D

Mummy: What else would you like to buy?

Me: Books?

Mummy: Okay, sure. What else?

Me: Errrrr... pay the electricity bill?

Mummy: Wuahahahaha!

Well, there is a reason for that funny answer, actually. I have this bad habit of leaving the television set on when I am not watching it. Sometimes I won't even allow mummy to switch it off although I am busy doing something else. Mummy never fails to nag this same thing to me over and over again... "You are wasting electricity. Do you have money to pay for the electricity bill?!!"

Well, now that I have my own money, I must have thought why not. Hahaha!

Funny Talk

Here's another compilation of the funny things I've said recently...

Early one morning, as I was washing up in the bathroom, someone (our neighbour from either above or below us) sneezed. It was a very loud one (a few times in a row) that sounded like some "barking". Giving mummy a startled look, I said "Maybe that was a sea-lion?" Hahaha!

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We were in town one day and daddy was driving slowly along a row of shop lots, trying to look for a parking space. Suddenly, I asked "Mummy, what is Reh Heh Beh?" while pointing to a building. Mummy was trying hard to figure out what I was saying until she looked up and saw the sign of RHB Bank.

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Me: Mummy, can you please don't grow very, very fat like the man in Chance of the Meatballs? (referring to the ballooning Mayor in the animated movie Cloudy With The Chance of Meatballs)

Mummy: Why?

Me: Because if you are soooooo fat, I cannot hug you anymore *sad*. I can only touch your shoulders like this *put my hands on her shoulders and looked pitiful*

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While helping mummy to water her plants, I said "Mummy, I think it is quite autumn now". Mummy's plants were obviously very neglected as I pointed at all those fallen dried-up leaves on the floor and repeated again "See all the leaves on the floor... it's quite autumn, right?

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While playing with my Barney key-chain in the car...

Me: Mummy, dinosaurs don't have ears.

Mummy: Who said?

Me: Neh, you see *shove the Barney key-chain to her*. Now, tell me, where are the ears?

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And finally... mummy found out that I am actually quite vain.

Me: Mummy, I've decided already... I'm NOT going to wear this pants out.

Mummy: Why not?

Me: Afterwards people think I'm a clown, how?

I kept insisting that this pink polka-dot leggings look like a clown's pants :(