He Ain't Old, He's My Father

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Me: Mummy, can I donate some money... (filled in details)?

Mummy: You go and ask your old man.

Me: Who is my "old man"?

Mummy: You think and see...

Me: Err, is it Gung-Gung (grandpa)?

Mummy: LOL!

Me and my not-so-old (yet) "old man"

I received a cute toy tarsier after making a small cash donation to help the victims of the Phillippine's Typhoon Haiyan (through a charity drive in my school).

A Horrible Candy

A few days ago, I came home from school with something hidden in my mouth. It was a "sweet" given to me by my bus teacher. I immediately popped it into my mouth because I thought I could finish it before we reached home and mummy wouldn't know that I have eaten a sweet in the bus... hah!

However, the "sweet" (it was deceivingly wrapped like a candy) turned out be the most awful thing I've ever eaten. I should have known better not to eat it in the first place judging from its "ugly" and wrinkly appearance. Since it was already in my mouth, I had to keep a straight face and dared not spit it out - the bus teacher was just sitting nearby.

It was after reaching home that I finally confessed to mummy... "Mummy, Yang Laoshi (the bus teacher) gave me a sweet but I don't like it. It's not nice. It tastes horrible! It's very, very sour and very, very salty!!" **ptooi... spit the sweet out**

Mummy burst into laughter when she saw the "sweet", which was not a sweet after all. It was a preserved sour plum (shuen mui)...

The remains of the HORRIBLE SWEET hahaha!

Although mummy found my story rather amusing, she is glad and thankful that I did not choke on it while reluctantly "storing" it in my mouth throughout the 7km bus-ride home! 

Selangor or Terengganu?

Touching down in KLIA, reaching PJ and entering our home sweet home was the best feeling ever!! The first thing that greeted us was our very clean house, thanks to these two very important people -  Koo-koo (daddy's sister) and Kau-foo (mummy's brother). Thanks a million for helping to take care of our home while we are away.

Next was this pile of letters, accumulated over a period of 7 months...

Bills, newsletters, bank statements, insurance statements and misc mails

Although daddy has already subscribed to a number of e-letters, e-billings and other electronic mails, our mailbox was still flooded with this mountain-high of physical letters by the hundreds. It took daddy and mummy over 2 days to finish browsing them all :p

Among this pile of letters, some of them were mine and this one in particular attracted our attention (actually it was Kau-foo who spotted the mistake)...

Since when did we move to Terengganu or could there be another Petaling Jaya in Terengganu too? 

We found this blunder rather amusing though hahaha! Luckily my Ikea Smales newsletter did not get lost and managed to find its way to our mailbox :)

Poison

Poison to me, is something that...

1. Tastes unpleasant
2. Looks unnatural
3. Contains artificial colouring
4. Is very mysterious and intriguing

1. Mummy cooked me a huge bowl of brown rice vermicelli soup with homemade fishballs and organic "nai pak", a type of dark green, leafy vegetable. I did not like this veggie but managed to eat most of it and left some behind...

Mummy I can't finish the veggie because I don't like it. It tastes like poison!

2. Recently, I received a Colgate dental-care pack which consists of a Spongebob toothbrush and toothpaste. All this while, I have been using toothpaste that is white in colour so when I saw the blue gel, I was quite shocked by the colour...

Eeeeeeee... why is this toothpaste blue? It looks like poison!

3. I begged for this Slinky dog candy dispenser when I saw it in Candylicious some time back. Mummy was reluctant to buy it for me but I was quick to add...

I promise I won't eat the sweets. It has poison, right?

4. I like to ask mummy all kinds of funny questions... Why do you always mop the floor? Why are you so afraid of dust? Do dust have poison? Why did you kill the cockroach? It it poisonous? Is a *name of an animal* poisonous? Is shampoo poisonous? What happens if we accidentally swallow it? Will we die? Etc.

Things I Say

Which Is More Important?
After being told by mummy for the umpteenth time to do my writing (Chinese homework) and put away my play tent (because she wanted to mop the floor), I finally moved my butt and proceeded with my writing first. It was then mummy started her usual nagging...
Mummy: I told you to keep the tent... bla bla bla... how many times must I tell you... bla bla bla... do you ever listen... bla bla bla...
Me: But writing is more important ok!

Setting my priorities right... homework first!

It's the Prunes!
I usually move my bowel every alternate days. Sometimes, I will poop daily but twice a day is definitely rare, which was what happened one day...
Mummy: Eh, how come you poo-poo twice today? What did you eat?
Me: I think it must be the prunes.
Mummy: But you didn't eat any prunes today, did you? You also didn't eat any yesterday, right?
Me: But I did last time... long ago!

Her Black Stuff
I always help mummy at the check-out counter at supermarkets. While helping to unload things from the shopping trolley to the cashier counter, I pushed all the fruits to one side, shook my head and mumbled "You and all your black-black stuff!"

Mummy wasn't aware that she has chosen all the dark-coloured fruits... grapes, plums, cherries and blueberries and I was quick to point that out to her haha.

Beauty Spots
I have tiny little "white heads" on my face occasionally and mummy likes to pinch them to remove them. Every time she does that, I will protest (cos it's painful!). Mummy still does the pinching despite my repeated protest so one day, I came up with a new excuse...
Me: Don't remove it! It's my beauty spot!
Mummy: LOL!

Can you spot my "beauty spot"?

Singing Da Ca
Mummy was happily singing one of the songs from my JMC CD when I interrupted her one day...
Me: Mummy, you sing da ca!
Mummy: Huh??
Me: You sing da ca la. Da ca means wrong (putting a cross in Mandarin). You sing wrong!

Sweet Valentine

Mummy, how do you spell "love"?... How do you spell "daddy"?... How do you spell "mummy"?

It was after being my spelling-assistant that mummy realized I was making something special for her and daddy...

A Valentine's Day card... 100% self-made (except for the help in spelling)

Mummy was rather surprised that I knew what Valentine's Day was. I must have learned about it in school. She was even more surprised that I made the card all by myself. The heart shape was drawn on another piece of paper, coloured, cut out and pasted on the white "card" using four strips of cellophane tape.

Although the card looked very plain and simple, both daddy and mummy cherished it like it was a piece of precious stone. Daddy even slipped it into his work bag and brought it to his office haha!

I have been doing a lot of paper-cutting lately. Unfortunately, mummy has been too busy to supervise me (or even notice me) until a few days ago. What she saw shocked her and also tickled her at the same time...

This is how I hold the scissors!

Like this also can cut?

Yes, it's funny but true... I can cut very well like this. When changed into the correct and proper way, I just can't do it! I hope it's not too late to change now...

Funny Talk

Here's another compilation of the funny things I've said recently...

Early one morning, as I was washing up in the bathroom, someone (our neighbour from either above or below us) sneezed. It was a very loud one (a few times in a row) that sounded like some "barking". Giving mummy a startled look, I said "Maybe that was a sea-lion?" Hahaha!

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We were in town one day and daddy was driving slowly along a row of shop lots, trying to look for a parking space. Suddenly, I asked "Mummy, what is Reh Heh Beh?" while pointing to a building. Mummy was trying hard to figure out what I was saying until she looked up and saw the sign of RHB Bank.

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Me: Mummy, can you please don't grow very, very fat like the man in Chance of the Meatballs? (referring to the ballooning Mayor in the animated movie Cloudy With The Chance of Meatballs)

Mummy: Why?

Me: Because if you are soooooo fat, I cannot hug you anymore *sad*. I can only touch your shoulders like this *put my hands on her shoulders and looked pitiful*

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While helping mummy to water her plants, I said "Mummy, I think it is quite autumn now". Mummy's plants were obviously very neglected as I pointed at all those fallen dried-up leaves on the floor and repeated again "See all the leaves on the floor... it's quite autumn, right?

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While playing with my Barney key-chain in the car...

Me: Mummy, dinosaurs don't have ears.

Mummy: Who said?

Me: Neh, you see *shove the Barney key-chain to her*. Now, tell me, where are the ears?

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And finally... mummy found out that I am actually quite vain.

Me: Mummy, I've decided already... I'm NOT going to wear this pants out.

Mummy: Why not?

Me: Afterwards people think I'm a clown, how?

I kept insisting that this pink polka-dot leggings look like a clown's pants :(

Mummy, You See Me...

... is currently my MOST FREQUENTLY used phrase. Almost everyday, I will come up with all sorts of antics to amuse and entertain mummy. Sometimes, all I want is just her attention so it's forever mummy, you see me (this), mummy you see me (that)...

Mummy, mummy, you see me... I do yoga.

I learned this from a classmate, apparently...

Mummy, you see me, I can do two catwalks...

First, I walked with hands on my hips like a catwalk model and next, got down on all fours, crawled around and meow-ed like a cat hahaha.

Mummy you see me... I can swing so high!

Happiest at the playground!

Mummy, you see me... I'm sitting in the car boot!

Ready to be shipped off...

Mummy you see what I draw... (before mummy could say anything... I quickly explained) "I draw... tv spoil already".

Poor artist with a good imagination... "tv spoil already"

Mummy, why did you buy this Little Miss Chatterbox pyjamas for me? I never talk a lot wat. I am Little Miss Sunshine because I am always happy!

... but mummy thinks I AM quite a chatterbox at home

Mummy, mummy you see... I made a zoo!

The "zebra" and "tiger" were made by mummy (long, long ago that I refused to dismantle until now) while the rest were all my own creation. I was really proud of my zoo and "ostrich" (the red and yellow thing)

Mummy, mummy... do you know what is a leafhopper? A leafhopper is a grasshopper's friend. A grasshopper eats grass and a leafhopper eats leaves (I love to come up with all sorts of self-created creatures)

Mummy, mummy... why is this called a zebra-crossing? I think it should be "bee-crossing" because it looks more like a bee, not a zebra!" (referring to the yellow and black-striped zebra-crossing that we walk on every morning on the way to school)

My Hands are Poccupied

I was busy playing with something when mummy needed a favour from me, to fetch her something. This was what I told her...

Me: I can't, mummy. My hands are poccupied.

Mummy: Huh? You hands are what?

Me: POCCUPIED! (occupied)

Mummy: Hehehe!

I must have got it mixed up with porcupine. Haha!

Well, here's what I was holding... an empty Baskin Robbins ice-cream tub and a stick (the core of the plastic book wrapper). I love to bat the paper tub with the "stick" and I can hit quite well too, with very few misses.

In dire need of a set of racket and ball/shuttlecock

My "Bribery"

Mummy was busy in the kitchen as usual when I kept repeating something to her. She kept straining her ears, trying to decipher what I was saying... "Mummy look! My bribery. I have a bribery. You see, this is my bribery". Still unable to understand what I was trying to say, she finally went out to take a look...

Ooh... I had arranged 6 books on the tv cabinet like this and called it my "bribery" (library). Haha!

Come to think of it, we actually DO have a mini library at home as I have quite a number of books placed around the house...

Compartment 1 of the big bookshelf...

Compartment 2 of the big bookshelf...

Activity books, writing books and colouring books under my study table...

Baby board books in the box...

More books on my study table...

In one of the tv cabinet drawers...

On the side table in my bedroom...

And even on my bed!

Language Confusion

Mummy has been diligently teaching me BM lately. While trying to show-off to Ah Ma how good my BM was...

Mummy: *pointed to her head*

Me: kepala

Mummy: Yes! *ruffled her hair*

Me: rambut

Mummy: Correct! *pointed to her ear*

Me: telinga

Mummy: That's right! *pointed to her nose*

Me: hidung

Mummy: Good! *pointed to her cheek*

Me: pipi

Mummy: Clever girl!

etc.

It went on and I continued to name all the parts correctly until it came to tangan, when mummy waved her hands at me to signal "hand". This was what I said...

Me: shou (that's Mandarin)

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAH!

Blueberry Bao

We were having tea at a nearby coffeeshop and Gung-gung had ordered some bao to go with the drinks. I tried both the tau-sar (red bean paste) and kaya bao.

When asked which was nicer, I said "the blueberry one" while pointing to the tau-sar bao. Haha!

Blueberry bao, anyone? Hehe!

Di-ven't

What's that?

Well, coined by me, this word is uniquely mine. Pronounced as dee-ven, it's actually a cross between "didn't" and "haven't" because I'm always too confused to choose between these two words. Here's how it is used...

- You diven't make my milk for me yet.

- No, I diven't put it there.

- We diven't ride on the horse that day.

Big Girl, Small Girl

When I saw mummy drinking something from her cup this afternoon:

Me: Are you drinking milk?

Mummy: Yes (actually it's not milk but looks like it and since I can't tell the difference, no point explaining)

Me: How come you never drink from the bottle?

Mummy: Mummy is a big girl. Big girls don't drink from the bottle. Big girls drink from the cup.

At this juncture, mummy expected me to say "I'm a big girl. I also want to drink from the cup". Instead, this was what I said...

Me: Ooh. Then next time, you be a small girl ok. You become a small girl, then you can drink from the bottle like me and play toys with me. OK?

Mummy: Hahahahaha!!

Can't Wait To Be 3 and Beyond...

This morning, I asked mummy the same question again "Is it my birthday today?" I must be really looking forward to that day. However, I didn't mention about the Little Einstein cake anymore. Instead, I told her "I want that chocolate cake with Milo on top". Mummy went "huh?" again. Since when did we eat such a cake??

After that, this conversation ensued:

Mummy: How old are you?

Me: 4?

Mummy: No.

Me: *Thinking* I dunno...

Mummy: You are 3 years old. Told you so many times already, why can't you remember?

Me: 3 years old again?? Why?

Mummy: ..................

Hahaha!

Do Plants Have Hiccups?

Actually this happened quite some time ago. When I saw mummy watering her plants, I asked her...

Me: Why do you have to water the plants?

Mummy: Plants need to drink water too, just like us...

Me: Ooooh... if they don't drink water, they will have hiccups??

Mummy: Hahahaha!!

Plant oh plant... you better drink lots of water or you will have the hiccups!

Although I rarely have the hiccups, I somehow can remember and relate it to my past experience where mummy would ask me to drink lots of water to alleviate the problem.

A Bias Remark

We were in Seremban, just minutes prior to our return to PJ, when Gung-gung and I were enjoying a light conversation. Sitting squeezed together in an armchair, we talked and laughed like old friends did...

Gung-gung: You stay here, don't go home, ok?

Me: Okay

Gung-gung: (To reaffirm his earlier statement) Daddy and mummy are going home. You stay here with Gung-gung and Ah Ma. Gung-gung will take care of you, cook for you... ok?

Me: You can cook meh?

Gung-gung: ................... (then *hahahaha* in the heart)

Gung-gung: Ok, Gung-gung can't cook so who can cook?

Me: Mummy can cook. Ah Ma can cook.

Gung-gung: What about your daddy?

Me: No, daddy also cannot cook. Boys can't cook.

Gung-gung: ...................... (*hahahaha* in the heart again and turned to mummy for questioning)

Mummy quickly went into defensive mode and said "Hey, I didn't teach her that!!"

I Don't Want the Esophagus

I quite enjoy eating asparagus in whatever ways that mummy cooks for me. However, on this particular day, one of the ingredients in my favourite noodle is asparagus. Not wanting anything else to "spoil" the taste of my favourite noodle, I told mummy "I don't want the esophagus. Please take out the esophagus for me".

Mummy asked me to repeat it again and tuned her ears carefully to my words:

Me: The esophagus.... I don't want it...
Mummy: I'm sorry dear, whether you like it or not, mummy can't take out your esophagus for you haha :-p

I don't know why I keep mispronouncing asparagus as esophagus. According to mummy, the word esophagus is equally hard to pronounce but I always get it right instead.


Esophagus, anyone? Heh heh heh...

It's Mine Too

Ocassionally, daddy would bring home some tidbits from his office (given by his colleagues) and leave them on the dining table. Yesterday, he brought home 2 pieces of chocolate wafers and a mini swiss roll.

When I discovered the little "treasure" this morning, I grabbed the swiss roll and brought it to mummy...

Me: I want to eat this.
Mummy: It's daddy's. You must ask him first (daddy's away at work).
Me: I want to eat thiiiiiisssssss...
Mummy: I said it's daddy's. It's not mine. You ask him lah. He's not around. How? (she just wanted to test my response)
Me: But... but... he left it in BB's house, you know. This is BB's house!

Haha... my reasoning is very simple. He has left it in MY house so am I not entitled to it too?


Anything you leave in my house is mine... understand?

My friend, Daddy

After spending almost half the day with Auntie BS today, mummy asked me this...

Mummy: BB do you know who is Auntie BS? Auntie BS is mummy's friend lor.

Very kiasu-ly, I quickly asked her back...

Me: Mummy, do you know who is daddy? Daddy is BB's friend lor!

Me and my "best friend"